I recently met a guy at a Christmas party. But he wasn’t the guy (Boy No. 1) she expected to spend the night flirting with. He was that guy’s best friend. Guy No. 1 is a man I’ve known since our first year of college. For the last few years, every time we see each other, sparks fly, fleetingly. We spent one night together and in the morning, after parting ways, we didn’t speak to each other for months.
Guy #2 (the guy I met at the party) is #1’s dear friend. I’ve never met Guy 2 before, but we spent the whole night flirting and chatting before finally, unsurprisingly , I went home with Number 1. The next morning, I received a text from Boy 2 that essentially said “have a good life”. Two days later, Guy 1 and I decided to keep things permanently in the friend zone. I can’t stop thinking about guy number 2, even though I didn’t end the night with him ultimately. He and I are more compatible in a number of ways. But does a text that says “wish me well” but says “I want a different relationship” really mean you’re done with this for good?
– Wishing the best
I have no idea what it means, or how upset he was by the events of the night.
I’m not sure you have much to lose by texting him one more time to see if he’s willing to go out for coffee. You can say, “I had a lot of fun talking to you at the party and would love to get together.” If he says yes, you can tell him, in the simplest of terms, how you feel. You can explain to him that you have some history with his friend, but that it’s over. You can say that you left the party with desire this – to spend time with the person you liked so much that night.
Please note that he may not reply to the text. Even if you are open to the conversation, you may not want to date someone who has had this type of relationship with your close friend. That would be understandable. Do not push; ask once
You should also know that you didn’t mess things up with a potential soulmate. He’s just a guy who was cool at a party. This can serve as a reminder that sparks can fly with new people when you least expect it. He also learned that old routines can get in the way of something great and new.
Send the text, keep it short, and accept any response (or lack of response) you get.
–Meredith
Readers? Reach? Leave it alone?
