What things in the relationship are stressing you out? send to [email protected] or fill out this form.
More Updates Please: Former Letter Writers…Where Are You Now? Did our advice help you? Send us an update at [email protected] with “update” in the subject line. Be sure to say which letter you wrote. Let us know what happened.
Dear Meredith,
After getting over dating app burnout, I finally met someone I had a genuine connection with. It was a great feeling. We talked every day for a few months and had many interesting and fun dates. I felt like things were going great and then out of the blue he said he didn’t see a future for us. Honestly, they surprised me. Granted, we had only known each other for a few months, but I was starting to get excited about the possibility of it becoming something more.
I feel like you can often tell if something isn’t working. The other person will start to become more distant. They may take longer to respond or put off making plans to hang out. But there was none of that. We talked and hung out frequently, and those conversations were started by the two of us, not just me.
I respect this person for telling me how they feel and I don’t blame them, but I can’t help but feel confused and sad. I don’t know if I have the emotional capacity to keep putting myself out there and I’m really afraid that I’ll never find a lasting connection. How do you overcome dating fatigue and disappointment? Time keeps passing and I’m only getting older; It’s starting to look like it’ll never happen.
– Confused and sad
I believe that when we are burnt out by something, we have to rest. It’s okay to take a break.
I know it sounds counterintuitive, because as most active daters know, it’s hard to find someone when you’re not looking. But how can you present your best self and notice wonderful things in others when you feel tired, confused, and sad? It’s best to take a moment and dwell on apps until they seem less doomed and less important.
I’m sorry they took you by surprise. That means a bigger break might be in order. You need time to get over a real loss.
remember there is I was a very real connection here. This person said that he didn’t see a future with you, but who knows what kind of life he wants? Maybe they are right about this not being a coincidence. Let’s consider the positive: that you met someone and shared a great romantic experience with them. The next great person you meet might share your vision for more, and then… that’s all you need, right?
After a while, you may find this experience hopeful. Actually, it is possible to meet someone you like. Hurrah.
But that’s a feeling for later. For now, take some time off to get your energy back.
–Meredith
Readers? pep talk here? Leisure?
